Valentines
by Invisible-Ayla
Summary: Harley has so many plans for her Valentines day with her Joker! But maybe that isn't mutual... A fluffy thingy written for reasons. HarleyxJoker - my first try at it with this pair!


**This month will be awesome! My cat's having kittens (although my mum doesn't want me naming one something nerdy from Batman x3), my birthday is this month and summer is getting closer! I can feel the sunshine al- oh wait, I'm in England.**

**But anyways, the reason I just listed good things is that heres a bad thing - I may not update Riddler and I this month :/ I have legitimate, but private reasons, but as soon as I get my act together, it'll be all good to keep going :)**

**So, just to tide people over, here's a little drabble of something I thought of a while ago. Yes, it's set in Valentines day and yes I know I'm months late :P Why can't people love everyday? Why just the 14th? This is actually my first JokerxHarley thing, so I don't know how I did. But hey, here's for trying!**

**Enough stupid, read and hopefully enjoy :)**

* * *

Valentines

Harley giggled excitedly as she scribbled down her plans. Criminal plans, not so much, but these were bigger. She knew that this year, her valentines day with her puddin' would be the best yet! Especially for the fact that this was the one time that the bat made sure that either her of Joker were locked away in the hell-hole called Arkham, seperated so they couldn't cause any trouble on the romantic holiday.

"I mean, c'mon!" Harley thought aloud to herself as she started dotting all her i's with hearts. "They're worried about me and my Mr J more than they are about that Calender guy!"

She'd already listed activities she'd hope to do when the 13th turned into the 14th: the first thing she'd do is wake him up to his favorite breakfast in bed, then they'd take the hyenas for a walk around in the surpisingly good weather (for Gotham in February anyway. Damn climate change.), then they'd go seperate ways to get ready for their romantic meal she had planned to have in the Iceburg Loungue, which she had to ask Oswald _really_ nicely about.

Then, after that, they'd... well, I'm sure the rest of the evening would pan out to end the perfect day in the perfect way.

Harley cooed and fell back onto her bed, hugging the notebook closely to her chest. Everything would be perfect and no vigelantes in tights would change it.

"HARLEY!" Joker shouted out for his hench-wench to go to him in the other room. It was late in the evening in their latest hideout - a warehouse that was being supplied to them by a mutual friend for accomodation. "GET IN HERE!"

Harley was currently wearing her pajamas, getting ready to have a good nights rest for when she'd wake up early the next morning. But it couldn't hurt for her to stay up a little longer, could it?

She bounded through the door with her notebook towards Joker, who was hunched over a desk scribbling on piles upon piles of paper for schemes and trickery he'd been saving up for months, in case he needed an idea quickly.

"Are you ready for tomorrow, sweetheart?" He put on a charming voice he usually used when talking normally to Harley, or when he needed her to do something for her.

Harley nodded eagerly. "I sure am! I've got the whole day planned out! I'm gonna make you breakfast in bed, then we'll walk the-"

"What are you talking about Harley?" Joker interrupted her. "I meant for the heist we've been planning for months since the bat last put me in the crazy house!"

Harley's heart immediately sank to he bottom of her gut. "W-What? That's tomorrow?"

Joker sighed irritably. "Yes Harley, that's tomorrow. Now did you pick up the supplies I needed?"

Harley just stared off gormlessly for a moment, then bowed her head sadly. "Yuh-huh. I got them last week. Uh, Mistah J?"

Joker noticed her sadness. He put his hand on her cheek and lifted her head up to see him, then suddenly felt a twinge of genuine concern (although he'd never admit it himself) when he saw Harley's eyes began to brim with tears. "What's up Harl?"

"I-I'm fine," she sniffled. "I'm gonna t-turn in early. Nighty-night..." She slumped back into her room and shut the door before Joker could question what had brought the tears any further, dropping her once beloved, now abamdoned notebook on the floor, landing open with the pages faced down.

Joker slid off his chair and shrugged. "Wonder what's got her so-oh..." When he picked up her notebook, it was opened on a page with the massive heading in red in "Valentines plans", and a list of various activities. At the very bottom of the page was a hand drawn calender starting from the first of February. Each of the little dates was crossed out except the last one, which was the number 14. Joker thought back to what day it could be (you generally lose track of time when you're so keen on creating plans) and it hit him staright in the face.

Whoops.

He looked up from the list to the door, then tiptoed over to it without a sound. Pressing his ear to the door, he could hear quiet sobbing that would tug on anyones heartstrings.

He looked back down to the notebook, then over to his desk. He walked back over and sat down in his chair, then picked up the phone. He dialled a number he thought he wouldn't be dialling for a good while.

"Joker, it's eleven at night. I respect that fact that you may want to stay up so late doing whatever it is you do that I don't want t know about, but I need to sleep every once in a while..." the man on the recieving end of the phone call grumbled, his moan ended with an exasperated yawn.

Joker ignored his aquaintance who seemed to tired to be threatening tonight. "Jonny boy! Good to see I didn't wake you!" His remark earned a huff from his collegue.

"What do you want? Let me sleep or I will pesonally come over there and give you nightmares!" He spat. Not tired enough to be threatening aparrently.

"I'm flattered by your offer, but I'm a little busy right now," Joker replied smugly. "You're good at rhyming and stuff right?"

* * *

Harley had cried herself to sleep that night. She could still feel the sticky stream of where the tears had flowed from her eyes like Niagra Falls. But what she could feel, and didn't remember doing, was that she was wrapped and tucked into her bed. Last she remembered, she hadn't bothered because she was too sad that her Puddin' had forgotten. Yet, she distinctly recognised the warmth and softness of her blanket.

She pried her eyes open from being sealed shut and looked around. She was still in her room, the "babies" were snoozing: one at the end of her bed and one actually sitting on top of her feet, restricting her movement because she didn't want to wake them up. She groggily sat up and they shuffled in their slumber, but stayed asleep. They looked blissful, even for hyenas, and the sight slightly warmed Harley's frozen heart, and she smiled a little.

But not as much as she smiled when she looked on her makeshift bedside table (a box with a blanket draped over it) to see her clock and found a plate with a cover over it with a white envelope and a rose sitting on top.

She would've torn at the items at the sight of them. But it wasn't a hyper exictement, but more of an excitement that she wanted to savour. She gently lifted the envelope and the crimson red rose off of the plate cover and onto her lap. Then, she lifted the cover to find a full breakfast, with the food set out in the shape of a smiley face. It's eggy eyes and bacon grim smiled up at her and the steam released from the cover smelt so good to Harley in the morning, though she'd honestly never woken up to breakfast in bed before. Not like this.

She replaced the cover over the food and looked down at what she had in her lap. She entwined her fingers around the stem of the rose and noticed that there was a small label tied to it. It read:

"Pam is gonna kill me for this x"

Harley couldn't contain her laughter, even though usually she'd feel bad for her best friend whenever a flower had been cut to be given as a present. Joking aside, she lifted the rose up to her face so the petals kissed the bottom of her nose, and breathed it. Unlike any of the roses that you'd buy in the supermarket or at some place where they were grown just for retail, the rose actually had a gorgeous scent to it and Harley's eyelids fluttered closed in delight. She put the rose back down delicately, so not to damage it, then finally went for the envelope.

It tore with a slight noise, and when it was fully open, Harley pulled the card out. It had a picture of a rose on it, but instead of it's usual colour, it was obvious that it had been scribbled over so that the petals were now purple. A ribbon, also purple, was looped around the cover of the card.

She opened up the card, unable to contain her excitement as her heart fluttered in her ribcage. Inside, written in handwriting that looked like someone had tried hard to make it neat and legible, was a poem.

_Oh Valentine, My Valentine  
I really wanted you for mine  
Came to your room at ten to four  
But all you did was loudly snore  
I kissed you softly on the cheek  
you grunted, farted - stayed asleep!  
I left you there in sweet repose  
And hope you find my wilted rose_

_Signed, J x_

A soft _plip_ of a tear sploshed onto the page from Harley's eyes, which were sparkling with delight.

"So you hadn't forgotten..."

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTES**

**Jonathan Crane is the best at creepy rhymes, he just needed to channel it towards something and hey presto! xD**

**Just writing that made me feel all squishy xD The poem was actually written for me this valentines day by one of my relatives, and he's the bestest :D And because of his legendary poetry skills, I decided to use that poem. I thought because it made me laugh as well as gushy, it would have been perfect for Joker to give to Harley :)**

**Happy un-valentines day everybody! ^_^**


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